A little trivia....

Remember back...

It's Halloween, and you are eight. Remember how exciting that was? What was your favorite candy you hoped to get?

Mine wasn't candy, I always wanted popcorn balls. But both Hooterville and I ADORED Valomilks, still do, and I loved any candy bar with nuts in it. Zero, Hollywood, Mars Bar, Reese Cups of course, and I LOVED LOVED LOVED Almond Joy. Sometimes you feel like a nut...

When I was eight I probably either dressed as a bum or as a high heeled lady. We weren't exactly costume savvy in the 50's in Enfield...

Did we carve a pumpkin??? Of course, we always did. Simple zigzags around, standard toothy smile. Worked for me...

Halloween parties? Yep, I remember going to the basement of Enfield Christian Church, walking thru the dark on bedsprings, being slapped in the face with a wet mop and feeling eyeballs (wet grapes) and brains (who knows what they were). Ugh, probably don't want to know. I also remember bobbing for apples and how Margaret Hardesty stuck her whole head in the water. I couldn't imagine why she would get her hair wet like that in front of people. Yeah, I was girly even as a preteen... She did get an apple though, I still remember her head coming out of the water with that apple in her mouth. haaaaaa

I seriously think the heat has fried my brain......... 100 again tomorrow, can't wait. Cooldown today, 95. Whoeeeeeee...

What happens when it goes hot???

People get downright nasty, that's what. I'm no exception, I've been in a really pissy cranky mood all week in Heavensville's unrelenting heat.

So instead of blogging about my favorite things, or some such stupid nonsense, your normally Miss Merry Sunshine is going to blog about the things that really frost my cake!!!!

Here are Jan's major bitches...

Guys who are outside with their shirts off (construction workers excluded). There is NOTHING worse than seeing some blubbery old geezer prancing around his yard naked to his waist. Totally disgusting...

Screaming kids in a restaurant or worse, in the library. When mine were little we yanked their little butt's outside when they started acting up.

And speaking of kids, everybody knows that it just drives me wild when mother's are at a restaurant and don't put a bib on their baby. Very seldom do you see bibs anymore, and the kid is always just dropping food all over a pricey little outfit. This is just WRONG...

Nutritional information that is misleading. I get so mad when I pick up a muffin for instance, and it says 120 calories, BUT if you look closely it says per serving and there is 2 servings in that friggin' little muffin. Whoever heard of a lousy muffin being 2 servings??? Are they kidding, a muffin is a BITE for pete's sake... Grrrrrr

When people tell me how "good" I get "around". Jeez Louise, people, I have no feet, it's not the end of the world, I just get up and walk. Nobody tells a fat lady that they are amazed that she can "get around" with all that fat. Gimme a break....

Those awful lights in a dressing room. Now why do stores do that? Why do they have the most unflattering lights known to man woman??? Don't they know that soft pink lights sell more clothes. And what about those hot dressing rooms? Like it's 125 sweltering degrees and who wants to sweat in a dressing room. Kick down the thermostat and you might sell more clothes. DUH.....

When you go do the doctor or the dentist and they tell you that their "procedure" might be a little "uncomfortable." UNCOMFORTABLE, HELL. their stupid "procedures" leave you with mind boggling, blinding uncontrollable pain. Easy for them to say....

People who make nasty little comments because I kiss my dogs. My dogs are my family, of course I kiss them. I also blow on their little bellies, dance them around the kitchen, and sing to them. So I'm a crazy old lady. SO WHAT!!!!!! Like I'm going to be kissing the people that are making those comments... I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snotty little salesclerks in pricey boutiques. Cmon people, you're making what, oh maybe $10 an hour... I'm SO in awe of you!!! Get real....

Waiters with an attitude, usually men. HELLO, am I going to give you a good tip when you are being an absolute asshole?????? And how much does your little job pay an hour without those tips???? Jeez, it's not rocket science........................

Oh, and women that are maybe a size six dripping wet, asking you if you think they look fat. FAT, AT SIZE SIX... OH-PUHLEEZ........

Well now that I'm all stirred up, I could continue this all afternoon, but I won't. I'm going to go take a shower now and go out into this wonderful 95 degree weather.

But hey, feel free to post any comments about what really bugs YOU. This is a lot more fun than doing ten questions about my favorite movie, tv show, yadayadayada...

OMG....

It's 103 right now in Heavensville, dunno what heat index is. I was out and about, it was so hot I thought I was just gonna roast. I was pulling off clothes as I came in the door.

Check out our 15 day forecast. I don't believe this....

Weatherman said yesterday it was hottest day, I'm sure today topped it. Leapin' lizards it is just HORRID!!!! No walking for me, no way am I gonna walk in this heat...

We aren't the only ones aging...

V sent me this link to a slide show about how celebs are aging. It's great - check it out HERE!

Could this be our next First Lady?

They say Fred Thompson's wife is keeping a low profile. Ummmmm, okay...

Nonono, I'm not getting political on you, well I am a Hillary fan, but we won't go into that one, it's not her I like, but Bill. **SHOCK** Sorry gang, I just happen to think he's totally charismatic, despite his many decadent trysts...

Anyhoo, I won't make a habit of this, just had no idea of what his wife looked like 'til I oogled Googled her.

Am I the only one???

Who can't open ANYTHING??? I can't open my newest summer find, that yummy Fuze Slenderize drink. I twist and turn the cap, rap on it with a knife handle and will it open, NO!!!!! Jars are impossible, but Ryan and Lindsay bought me an electric jar opener, which works great, but unfortunately hubby keeps taking it off the counter in the garage and putting it on a shelf.

And ya know those little foil thingies on the tops of bottles to seal them. They never come off. NEVER!!!! I end up poking them with a knife and then they squirt crooked and soak me.

Sometimes my Diet Coke tabs fall into the can. And wine??? OMG, forget that. I always have the cork swimming in the wine and have to strain the damned stuff...

But I do wonder why hubby never has these problems. EVER!!! He patiently takes what I'm trying to open and smoothly executes it. *sigh*

I think my problems with this started as a child. I remember being at the Queen's Grill in Carmi, eating my favorite cheeseburger basket, and at that time ketchup came in those little oblong pods with foil on top. Well, somehow I managed to squirt ketchup on the headliner of Mother's car. They say everything is rooted in childhood, and I can definitely pinpoint the beginning of this affliction.

I don't even TRY and put the M&M's flea meds on them, I would pour the whole dose in the wrong spot. There is just no answer for my problem, either. Even when I slow down, I still can't make things operate like they should..

I had a fiasco with my mascara wand last week that I won't even blog about.

And so here I sit, with this stupid virus, feeling pretty much, as Ang likes to say, like "dog shit." I'm sleeping my days away, but it's so darned hot I wouldn't be doing anything outside anyway. I walked 2/3 of a mile this morning, and was so weak I had to quit. And we have another week of this 95 degree + heat forecasted for Heavensville Hellville...

I'm outta here, gonna do SOMETHING, maybe I'll drown my sorrows in watermelon. Then I'll be up all night going potty...

Jan here, signing out, pretty much in a suxy mood...

Those were the days...

Remember when you were a kid and played out in the heat. I can remember riding my bike, the sweat just pouring down my face. I was dusty and dirty, but I just kept on going.

I walked this morning at 8am. Thought I was going to just lay down and die right there on the track. O-M-G it was hot and it wasn't even mid-morning. I need to run errands, I'm putting it off. I just don't handle hot at all now that I'm on the wrong side of fifty-five...

I guess I've gotten soft in my old age. I'm sitting here with the AC cranked, the ceiling fan whirring and I'm complaining...

I just need to step back and count my blessings. It was a hard life in the country in the 50's. I don't think we even had a fan when I was a little girl. I can remember visiting my aunt and uncle, and I was just awestruck by the round ottoman style fan in their living room. I thought it was the greatest thing.

Mother cooked a lot in her electric skillet on hot summer days. Probably to try and keep the house cooler. We drank huge amounts of iced tea and ate a lot of Blue Bell Bologna ($.59 cents a pound from Marlin's Department Store.) Oh that bologna was wonderful... Full of garlic, wrapped in white paper and tied with a string, eaten on white gummy bread smeared with Miracle Whip and slices of fresh tomatoes and onions. What a feast that was... See, it was all about food, even then...

*sigh* Blue Bell Bologna is long gone now, I guess I could get some Oscar Mayer Fat Free Bologna and eat it on high fiber bread... Jeez Louise, what the hell am I thinking??? It wouldn't be the same at all.

Wonder what the dumpster thinks about this???

I just saw on television tonight that 58 year old Ivana Trump is engaged to a 35 year old hottie. Oh, I was laughing so hard. I bet old Donald Dumpster is having fits about this!!!!!

You go Ivana, I just love it when an old broad scores!!!! Even if her boytoy is bought and paid for....

Oh, I bet that old fool ex-husband with his horrid combover is having a conniption fit about now....

Serves him right for dumping her for that vaporhead Marla Maples back in the 90's...

Jan, doin' the happy dance.....

Those lazy days of summer...

I haven't been around much, it's hot, I've been watching movies and reading. Today I watched Miss Potter, a magical movie about Beatrix Potter, starring Rene Zellweger.

Yesterday, I read The Painted Veil, it was wonderful as well.

And so it goes. It was a busy weekend in Heavensville, the kids were all home, they rented a pontoon and we all spent Saturday afternoon cruising to Newburgh on the river. Went to The Log Inn for dinner Friday night, an old favorite revisited...

I'm pretty mellow, pretty boring, no funny stories, even the M&M's are in a docile mood, must be the heat...

I'm outta here, going to crack open yet another book and read. Maybe I'll even make myself a lemonade shakeup. Ahhhhh, now that's living!!!

You have to see this...

Click on this video of Art Linkletter. He's 95 years old today, and has been married to his wife for 72 years. The old guy doesn't look a day over 80!!!!! Simply amazing...

I was in a really a mood this morning...

Grumpy is the only way to describe my early morning. That dreaded scale didn't budge, and why do I get on it every day anyway??? LC was full of piss and vinegar , he's off for four days, and I was just being a grouch. I wasn't going to walk, I was just going to sit around and be in a bad mood, but at his urging, actually, I got off my duff and went to the track.

OMG, I'm charged now. Energized, feel good, plugged in my earphones, listened to some tunes, stretched out the muscles and I'm a new woman. There really is something to exercise and endorphines. Ang has been drilling it in my head for how long now??? And Linds, And T... Maybe it's finally kicking in and I'm starting to believe them.

So, if you find yourself being Oscar the Grouch, put on the walking shoes and see if YOUR mood improves....

I like to think that the M&M's would be this protective...

Zoey is a Chihuahua, but when a rattlesnake lunged at her owners' 1-year-old grandson, she was a real bulldog.

Booker West was splashing his hands in a birdbath in his grandparents' northern Colorado back yard when the snake slithered up to the toddler, rattled and struck. Five-pound Zoey jumped in the way and took the bites.

"She got in between Booker and the snake, and that's when I heard her yipe," said Monty Long, the boy's grandfather.

The dog required treatment and for a time it appeared she might not survive. Now she prances about.

"These little bitty dogs, they just don't really get credit," Booker's grandma Denise Long told the Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald.

This just isn't right....

I just read where Drew Carey will be taking over for Bob Barker on The Price is Right. DREW CAREY???? HOSTING THE PRICE IS RIGHT???? Egads, this is so wrong. What happened to George Hamilton, he was in the running? At least he was smooth. Drew Carey is a blubber boy. Well, I just won't be tuning in. Not that I tuned in anyway. But The Price is Right is an institution.

"Have your pet spayed or neutered," Bob said every day. What will Drew say? Meet you down at Burger King for a Whopper? Wrong, wrong, wrong....

It's a beautiful mornin', Ahhh,
I think I'll go outside a while,
An jus' smile.

It's 60 degrees this morning in Heavensville, no humidity, absolutely gawjus weather. I can see the early sun filtering down on my flowers on the patio. Oh, it's those simple things that get me every time.

Don't you just love early mornings when the world is still? Ry and Linds are home for the weekend, still snoozing, The M&M's had an early breakfast and are asleep in their beds beside me in the sunroom, hubby is off to a rummage sale, and I just "am."

Life will be hectic soon, everybody up for an early morning walk (we walked a mile and a half yesterday.) Who knows, maybe we'll do two miles this morning. My body is responding to all this exercise, my stride is more limber, my muscles loose.

It's perfect at Burdette Park in the mornings. The honkers and the quackers walk the track with the people. They are so gentle, they just amble across in front of you in no hurry to move along. The turtles hide on limbs in the water, hidden by the waterlilies, and the fish splash in the pond.

Mother Nature at her finest... It's a beautiful thing...

Now if I could just go to the Donut Bank for a warm glazed donut and a cuppa life WOULD be perfect. *sigh* Eating healthy sux sometimes...

Hubby and I had breakfast El Fresco

Doesn't that sound special? Doesn't it make you think of outdoor cafes, tables with umbrellas, and fleurs in abundance. Well, we could have done that on the patio but....

Our dining 'el fresco" this morning consisted of two fried egg sandwiches (actually egg white sandwich for me) consumed while tooling around on Milly.

Hey, it worked for us......

Little Monkey...

I haven't posted anything about the M&M's lately. In fact, I haven't posted at all lately and you all are probably getting pretty sick of looking at Queen Elizabeth.

Munchie doesn't have too many antics these days, mostly she just sits around and watches Maggie get in trouble...

Maggie is my little imp, she's like a naughty two year old. LC and I were both gone this morning, he at the foot Dr.'s, but thats a whole other blog, me walking at the track. TOOTS FOR JAN!!!! I WALKED TWO MILES THIS MORNING!!!

So anyway, I come home and Maggie has pulled mouthfuls of my dried hydrangeas from a basket I sit under a desk in the living room, and has them scattered EVERYWHERE. Of course, she has them all over her fur, and Munchie is sitting quietly, like "don't look at me, I didn't do ANYTHING."

I said, "Margaret MooLatte, what have you done???" And does she cower down, does she look remorseful??? Are you kidding, she flips her little butt up in the air, twists around and prances out of the room as if to say, "You aren't the boss of me!!!!" And what do I do, I laugh...

Oh, it was SO funny. I'm such a sucker, I just can't yell at her, when she is so darned cute.

Later, LC comes home and says, boy, I need to run the vacuum. *giggle*

And I talked to my buddy, V, this afternoon and told her that I hope she has hydrangeas this summer, it looks like I'm going to need a new supply, since she is the one who gave them to me in the first place.

And that's it from our house, this rainy Tuesday in Heavensville...

Amazing pix...

Annie Leibovitz makes Queen Elizabeth look amazing. Wonder what she could do for me, since I deleted each and every one of my Mother's Day pix. I can't tell you how bad they were. Oh, they were just horrid.

And what's really sad is if I would have kept them, five years from now I would look at them and think, "hmmmm, they weren't that bad."

Old age sux!

A smile for you...

Hooterville sent me this Zen wisdom this morning, I thought you might all enjoy it. My fave is #22 - so funny, so true.... and #19 probably explains why I'm not so bright.....

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if
you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk
a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a
light side and a dark side, and it holds the
universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with
women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until
just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

I'm such a sucker for a good love song...

When we were at the movie's last week, this song was playing before the show started, during the commercial thingies.

I came home and found it on YouTube, and thought you all might like to watch the video. It's one of my very fave artists, Willie Nelson, yep, I've been a Willie fan for years, and he's singing with Shawn King, Larry King's wife, who surprisingly, has a good voice. Oh, I love the orange bustier type top she has on, too. The woman isn't young either, 47, I think. She looks amazing.

So give it a watch, it's called I Give, and it's a goodie - Click here -

Watch it all the way to the end, she gives him a kiss, oh he's SO cute!!!!