Am I the only one???

Who can't open ANYTHING??? I can't open my newest summer find, that yummy Fuze Slenderize drink. I twist and turn the cap, rap on it with a knife handle and will it open, NO!!!!! Jars are impossible, but Ryan and Lindsay bought me an electric jar opener, which works great, but unfortunately hubby keeps taking it off the counter in the garage and putting it on a shelf.

And ya know those little foil thingies on the tops of bottles to seal them. They never come off. NEVER!!!! I end up poking them with a knife and then they squirt crooked and soak me.

Sometimes my Diet Coke tabs fall into the can. And wine??? OMG, forget that. I always have the cork swimming in the wine and have to strain the damned stuff...

But I do wonder why hubby never has these problems. EVER!!! He patiently takes what I'm trying to open and smoothly executes it. *sigh*

I think my problems with this started as a child. I remember being at the Queen's Grill in Carmi, eating my favorite cheeseburger basket, and at that time ketchup came in those little oblong pods with foil on top. Well, somehow I managed to squirt ketchup on the headliner of Mother's car. They say everything is rooted in childhood, and I can definitely pinpoint the beginning of this affliction.

I don't even TRY and put the M&M's flea meds on them, I would pour the whole dose in the wrong spot. There is just no answer for my problem, either. Even when I slow down, I still can't make things operate like they should..

I had a fiasco with my mascara wand last week that I won't even blog about.

And so here I sit, with this stupid virus, feeling pretty much, as Ang likes to say, like "dog shit." I'm sleeping my days away, but it's so darned hot I wouldn't be doing anything outside anyway. I walked 2/3 of a mile this morning, and was so weak I had to quit. And we have another week of this 95 degree + heat forecasted for Heavensville Hellville...

I'm outta here, gonna do SOMETHING, maybe I'll drown my sorrows in watermelon. Then I'll be up all night going potty...

Jan here, signing out, pretty much in a suxy mood...

Those were the days...

Remember when you were a kid and played out in the heat. I can remember riding my bike, the sweat just pouring down my face. I was dusty and dirty, but I just kept on going.

I walked this morning at 8am. Thought I was going to just lay down and die right there on the track. O-M-G it was hot and it wasn't even mid-morning. I need to run errands, I'm putting it off. I just don't handle hot at all now that I'm on the wrong side of fifty-five...

I guess I've gotten soft in my old age. I'm sitting here with the AC cranked, the ceiling fan whirring and I'm complaining...

I just need to step back and count my blessings. It was a hard life in the country in the 50's. I don't think we even had a fan when I was a little girl. I can remember visiting my aunt and uncle, and I was just awestruck by the round ottoman style fan in their living room. I thought it was the greatest thing.

Mother cooked a lot in her electric skillet on hot summer days. Probably to try and keep the house cooler. We drank huge amounts of iced tea and ate a lot of Blue Bell Bologna ($.59 cents a pound from Marlin's Department Store.) Oh that bologna was wonderful... Full of garlic, wrapped in white paper and tied with a string, eaten on white gummy bread smeared with Miracle Whip and slices of fresh tomatoes and onions. What a feast that was... See, it was all about food, even then...

*sigh* Blue Bell Bologna is long gone now, I guess I could get some Oscar Mayer Fat Free Bologna and eat it on high fiber bread... Jeez Louise, what the hell am I thinking??? It wouldn't be the same at all.

Wonder what the dumpster thinks about this???

I just saw on television tonight that 58 year old Ivana Trump is engaged to a 35 year old hottie. Oh, I was laughing so hard. I bet old Donald Dumpster is having fits about this!!!!!

You go Ivana, I just love it when an old broad scores!!!! Even if her boytoy is bought and paid for....

Oh, I bet that old fool ex-husband with his horrid combover is having a conniption fit about now....

Serves him right for dumping her for that vaporhead Marla Maples back in the 90's...

Jan, doin' the happy dance.....

Those lazy days of summer...

I haven't been around much, it's hot, I've been watching movies and reading. Today I watched Miss Potter, a magical movie about Beatrix Potter, starring Rene Zellweger.

Yesterday, I read The Painted Veil, it was wonderful as well.

And so it goes. It was a busy weekend in Heavensville, the kids were all home, they rented a pontoon and we all spent Saturday afternoon cruising to Newburgh on the river. Went to The Log Inn for dinner Friday night, an old favorite revisited...

I'm pretty mellow, pretty boring, no funny stories, even the M&M's are in a docile mood, must be the heat...

I'm outta here, going to crack open yet another book and read. Maybe I'll even make myself a lemonade shakeup. Ahhhhh, now that's living!!!