And there are no sunglasses anywhere and the sun is glaring. I have multiple pairs, so I go back in the house and can I find one single pair, oh no, the only pair I can find is on his workbench in the garage and one of the sides has fallen off. So off I go to the car, with my one earring on and my sunglasses all askew on my head, feeling pretty much like bird doodoo, but oh the adventure has just begun.
I fire up hubby's car, remember I never drive this car, and it has the most sensitive gas pedal known to
So I'm almost to the drugstore, I look in the rear view mirror to change lanes, there is no rear view mirrow... THERE IS NO REAR VIEW MIRROR!!!! Hubby told me last week that it had popped off in the cold weather and he apparently hadn't glued it back on.
So I make it to CVS without crashing, go inside, call Ryan on the phone (pharmacist son, remember) so he can tell me what I need to buy so that I'll quit coughing. $39.00 later, I'm back in the car, swigging Robitussin out of the bottle and THE FRIGGIN CAR WON'T START!!!! It's deader than a doorknob. I am SO upset at this point that I'm given to fits of hysterical laughter. And I can't even look in the rear view mirror to see if my makeup is smeared cause there is no mirror!
I call Ryan again on the phone, poor Ry, he's telling me to just calm down and he's trying to tell me what to do, he doesn't know what's wrong either, but for some reason I messed with locking it and unlocking it and lo and behold IT STARTED. It was the security system that was keeping it from starting. Obviously I had clicked something and screwed that up, too...
So now the windshield wipers are going back and forth and I can't figure out how to turn them off. I sit there in the sun with the wipers swishing away at multiple speeds while I try to figure out how to stop the madness. Then I look at my gauges and Jesus Joseph and Mary, I'm totally out of gas!
And remember, I feel like bird doodoo... So I go to the gas station, roar under the canopy, I'm still hot rodding the car, just can't get a "feel" for that stupid gas pedal, I managed to put gas in it and peel off to the library, where I have NO library card, because it's in MY car, but they did let me check out my book, thank goodness. I'm now back in the car where once again it won't start. WHAT IN THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG WITH THE STUPID KEY ANYWAY???? So I fiddle with it, and fiddle some more, take it out, lock the door, unlock the door, put it back in and finally get it started again and I'm off to the races once more...
I then barreled thru the fast food window for some lunch, oh did I tell you that I'm doing all of this on an expired driver's license??? Oh yeah, I didn't realize it was expired until a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't had a good hair day since to go get a new one. Jeez, Louise what a mess!!! I give the girl at the first window my money and lurch my car forward to the pickup area, and I'm thinking that if I EVER get home I'm never leaving again.
But since I was out I did go to the grocery store for just a few things... Meanwhile John calls me on the phone and I'm laughing so hard he thinks I've totally lost it, which I HAVE.... Then I'm out of the store, in the car, AND IT WON'T START AGAIN!!!!! Well, this time I realize I have the wrong key in the ignition... THE WRONG KEY. I'm not shook, oh no, not much I'm not.... Now I'm wondering if I had the wrong key in the ignition before? Who knows, who cares, I'm NEVER driving that car again, EVER!
I'm home now, safe and sound, and I'm gonna get in my jammies and try and get a grip!
Oh Men Schmen, anyway. This would have been so simple if I would have just had my own car!
But the good news is I haven't coughed once since I swigged half a bottle of that cough syrup. I actually feel quite a bit better. It's probably the alcohol... Oh gracious sakes, what a day Miz Scarlett has had!!!!! Lawdy, Mellie, I do feel a fit of the vapors comin' on...