I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, stupid, stupid man.
Lindsay and Ryan are in for the weekend. We all decided it was a movie night, since LC wasn't working, and Linds and I had been wanting to see Atonement for like FOREVER, and the guys could have cared less about seeing it, they wanted to see Rambo.
So we were off to the movies, the girls to see Atonement, the guys to see an aging Sylvester Stallone with steroid infused muscles. We settled in with our popcorn and our diet cokes, thrilled to be seeing a great love story, it started a bit lame, we kept waiting for it to get better, and waiting, and waiting... It never did. It was literally the worst piece of shit movie we have both ever seen in our lives. It was totally discombobulated, it jumped around all over the place, it was TOTALLY dark, TOTALLY depressing. Oh, don't waste your time on this stinker, girlfriends, the only, and I mean the ONLY good part of the movie was Keira Knightley's green dress and her good eye makeup. That's pretty bad, when that's the only good thing you can say about a movie...
After we got out of the show, I was waiting for Linds to come out of the ladies room, and these four older people were coming out of the show headed straight toward me, and so I said to them, "What did you think of that movie?" And this old geezer said he thought it was delightful, so intelligent. And his wife said, I'm not sure I liked that movie." And me, I said to that old fart, "Well, I thought it was just STUPID." Pompous old man, trying to impress that couple they were with, guys are such idiots.... That movie was a dud, I'm tellin' ya, a DUD!!!
But of course we couldn't tell the guys that. Of course not, we couldn't let them know what a stinker we picked, so after we got out of the movie, they said that Rambo was, okay, they would give it about a 4, since our family rates EVERYTHING on a 1-10 basis. Lindsay said that our movie was "emotional" and the guys wouldn't have "understood" it... I said I would give Atonement a 10, Linds said she would give it an 8, what we DIDN'T tell them, was that I gave it a 10, with the 10 being the worst review possible, she soft pedaled it with the 8!
So here I am blogging about it, and you better read this fast, because I can feel the DELETE key on this entry happening tomorrow before the guys decide to read my blog...
Oh, it was so bad, so bad, so bad, it was just such a waste, you have no idea..... STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE!!!!!
Poor little Maggie, today was grooming day - I spent HOURS, detangling, bathing, blow drying, and giving her bits of cheese to keep her happy. Then for a "special treat" she got to go in the car with us to do errands after the torture was finished.
AND, hubby, despite my saying it wasn't a good idea, just HAD to go thru the carwash. HAD TO... That car couldn't wait another day. OMG, it was awful, my poor little dog was terrified, and I was so pissed. Men just don't have that sensitive gene, it is just missing!!!! He STILL doesn't think it was a big deal... It wasn't a good trip, if you get my drift.
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs,
So I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat.It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'
John sent me this today, just too funny not to share. And speaking of politics, which I never do, I've been reading quite a bit about Oprah and how she's having a lot of backlash from women because she is in Obama's camp, when a woman has a shot at the White House for the first time in history. It seems that her "fans" are not happy with her for backing her race instead of her gender and she has been getting slammed for it.
She has been pretty silent since New Hampshire, it will be interesting to see if she backs away from him. And if she DOES, yours truly who doesn't venture into the political arena, believes, strongly, that she should have kept her mouth shut in the first place and stuck with "entertainment" instead of politics. It just frosts my cake when these celebrities feel the need to jump on the black bandwagon.
Even Whoopi, whom you know I love, was talking about Martin Luther King holiday this morning on the view and said "thank you" as if she was thanking people for making it a holiday.
You sure as hell don't hear anybody "thanking people" for George Washington's birthday holiday. WHAT A CROCK!!!!
Twelve years ago we bought a house in the historic section of Heavensville. We always called it the "Gingerbread House", also known as "Hansel and Gretel's Cottage." I always loved the house, it was really magical looking, and when the elderly owner's husband passed away, I wrote her a letter, telling her that we were interested in it.
She called us, hubby and I went over to see it, she wouldn't let us inside, said it was a mess, but we walked the perimeter, and it was so quirky and unusal looking - the brick was all uneven and had greek insignia's designed into the bricks, and the garage was a duplicate of the house. There was an outdoor fireplace by the garage and a waterfall and fishpond came out of the front of the garage wall, all original.
We bought it on the spot, without ever looking inside, and NO, it was NOT a deal, I just wanted the house and LC said he didn't care about the inside, he would redo it anyway.
And so we bought it, and it WAS a mess inside, but he redid all of it, and it was just wonderfull It was surrounded by big oak trees, that have since died and been cut down, so it doesn't have the charm it once did.
And why am I telling you this? Because it was featured in the Sunday paper as a "Storybook Home." I thought you all might like to read the article.
We sold it five years ago when we bought our Condo. At the time we bought it, I thought I would live in it forever, but it's tough living on three different levels when you have no feet. Everything was either upstairs, or in the basement, and I was going up and down stairs many times daily. Plus, the neighborhood was deteriorating, as it does with older homes, so we sold it.
Am I sad? No, not really, I had wonderful years living there, and good memories, but it was time to move on. And now, even though I live in a condo, I'm in the country, and my front yard overlooks a horse pasture, and there is a creek that I can visit daily on Milly (golf cart).
Our condo seems like a house to me, and it's peaceful and quiet, and everything is really convenient.
And if you would like to see what it used to look like on the inside, I have interior pictures on an old Tripod account that I found for you. I hope you enjoy it, and if you think it was as special as I did, drop me an email or leave a comment.
Here's the CLICK to all the pictures, they re all thumbnails just click on them to bring them to a large size..
Here is the article from the paper, scroll down to the 7th house, that was ours... Here's the CLICK.
Maggie's having a bad hair day, Munchie and I are having a WORSE one.....
I haven't had such a lazy weekend since... well, the last one.
I scrapped more pages again today. They are listed on the front of the Milly Scraps page.
One is my recipe for CranApple pie, the other is a thank you note I got from Tonia this week. The card was so pretty, it was a shame to just put it in a drawer, so I scrapped a page using it. It's pretty and fresh, reminds me of her...
You can see both these pages at Milly Scraps. Here's the CLICK...
Suzanne Pleshette died this morning of lung cancer. I always liked her, and not for the reasons you probably think. Oh sure, she was great with Newhart, she was a stunning beauty, but I liked her for a little obscure Disney movie that she made with Dean Jones in 1966 called The Ugly Dachshund.
It was a really hokey film, but she was adorable, she had the cutest clothes and she had three "girls" she called them - the cutest little Doxie's you've ever seen. Now you all know I've never been known for liking the "great" movies, I go for the clothes, the sets, etc., I just go for the visual and this was a cute one. Catch it on the tube sometime and watch it...
CNN has a nice article about her this morning, if you would like to read it, you can access it HERE.
I gush about the grandkids, post strange, rambling erratic thoughts, embarrass my family and friends and often I sit in the sunshine, drink diet sweet tea and try my best to live in the moment every . single . day . Did I leave anything out? Hey, I'm old(er) now and wiser too. Now if I could just remember what I'm talking about and whom I'm talking to...