Good one...

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical..
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"

I have this amazing heating pad....

It's the perfect warm temperature, it's flexible, it's fuzzy, and it has no batteries or cord. It keeps me toasty warm all thru the night....

It's Maggie!! OMG, with this cooler weather, this little dog heads under the covers and cuddles right next to me. Am I afraid I will squish her, not really, but I do worry about her breathing under the blankets. Trish assures me that London does the same thing.

You should try a warm dog in your bed. No, no, no, not a man, a REAL dog... Oh, I forgot, men ARE dogs... Just kidding, just kidding, don't want the token males that read this site to email me. It's a joke, guys, a JOKE!

bad girl, bad girl... *grin* ~ jan

Now this is just the damndest thing...

Okay ladies, now that I have your attention with my title, my buddy Hooterville, who is the guru of all things web savvy, oh my that woman is a WONDER, anyhoo, she sent me this link today. It's for this site called "What Should I Read Next."

You just go to this site, put in the title of a book that you read and really liked, along with the author, and up pops up a whole list of possibilities that are similar to the book you read and really liked. Pretty sweet, huh?

Yep, I think so too, in fact it's so sweet that I'm going to put a link to it in the right sidebar above What's on my Bedside Table.

Click here and check it out for yourself... ~ jan

That darned pie....

Ok, it was too good to be true, two points for a piece of pumpkin pie. Actually, the crust turned out pretty good, the filling was perfect, it was a beautiful pie.... but, *sigh* it had a whang to it. I'm wondering if it's because I didn't have sugar free maple syrup and I used Mrs. Butterworth's Sugar Free Syrup instead. I'm thinking that if I would have just left that syrup out entirely it would have been fine. The spices were right, it was really good, except for the aftertaste.

It was too much to expect, I know, and I was so excited. I might try it again and leave out the syrup, or maybe I'll try another filling in that crust, the crust was okay, it was almost good, actually...

Hungry Girl...

Do you all know about Hungry Girl? If not, boy are you missing out... Hungry Girl is a healthy eater's best friend. Notice I said healthy eater, not dieter - it's my latest approach in tricking my mind into staying away from the bad stuff. We'll see how this works out for me six months from now.

Anyhoo, Hungry Girl has a website - hungrygirl.com, and she also publishes a daily, Monday thru Friday, newsletter that is just DA BOMB!!! She has all the latest products, recipes, complete with weight watcher points and today she published a pumpkin pie recipe.

Now the crust for this pie is made with Fiber One Cereal, and this cereal, which happens to be just 60 calories a cup, is pretty good with Splenda and blueberries sprinkled on it. I've heard about this piecrust for awhile now, and have never made it. You pulverize the cereal, mix it with Splenda, light butter, water and cinnamon and Voila, you have a faux graham cracker crust ... So I got my fanny in gear this morning, made the pie, and it's in the oven as we speak.

Want the recipe - go on over to Eating Right - I published it on that board, so we could have it in the recipe archives.

CLICK HERE to access my Eating Right blog and view the recipe, and I'll let you all know how this pie turns out - 2 points per slice - that's Weight Watcher talk for REALLY low calorie - I may have TWO slices!!!!

~ jan

Progress...

See that little gingerbread Christmas tree in the left sidebar - click on it, and Holiday Goodies are back!!!! Yep, I've rebuilt the site, all the wonderful Christmas recipes are back - they're all here, Barb's Awesome Pumpkin Bread, two SUPERB fudge recipes, Veronica's Mackinaw Island Butter Pecan Fudge, and Buttercream Fudge, Lindsay's great Artichoke Dip, and lots more, including those doggie treats that the M&M's are such a huge fan of... Enjoy....

Spring Fling Salads are up, also - they're right below the Holiday Goodies.... ~ jan

Wet Pants

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good..

Here he is gang....

Ok, Linds fired me an email this morning, "So how come LC didn't make the cut, she asked?" This afternoon I talked to Tonia and she said,
"Where's Larry in the family pix?"

Okay, okay, I fess up, he didn't make the blog pix yesterday because I'm next to him in all the pictures. He looked good, I didn't, remember.

Sooooo, here he is, I cropped myself out. Shoulda done that yesterday and saved the Dilly's from bein' in a tiz....

We are FAM-I-LY....

I absolutely DETEST corduroy pants, why did I even wear the damned things!!!!!

Grace Kelly at Sotheby's

Jean sent me a great link this morning of several photos of the Grace Kelly collection, currently on display at Sotheby's. If you want a little class in your morning, take a peek. Wonderful clothes, jewelry, even a collection of eyewear, and lots of memorabilia - enjoy. ~ jan

LINK HERE...

They're All Here...

All of your favorite Thanksgiving recipes are ready for the holidays.

Lindsay's Aunt Jan & Kaysi's Cranberry Salad, Barb's Melt-in-Your-Mouth Pumpkin Bread, Veronica's Rhubarb pie, and lots, lots more. You can access them by clicking on the Turkey in the left sidebar.

Enjoy - they're all VUNDERBAR!!!!!

~ jan

What I'm up to today...

Don't these look YUMMY????

SURPRISE, they're a Weight Watcher Recipe - only 2 points per muffin, for those non-weight watcher people, that's approximately 100 calories. Not bad, huh.

You can access the recipe on the Eating Right Board...

Here's the link - CLICK HERE -


I needed to do something healthy after my little binge yesterday. So I'm putting a chicken in the oven to roast and making these muffins.

Now, back to that binge... I made Butterscotch Brownies for Jean for her birthday, and then last night LC had a meeting at the house, so I made them again. They are SO easy, SO simple, SO FAT LADEN!!!! AND, of course I got into them and ate TWO!!! But, seriously, these brownies are the absolute best brownies that you will EVER taste.

I've had so many people just go gaga over them, and they are so simple to make, it's almost embarrassing. The butterscotch flavor comes from brown sugar and butter, not from those icky, artifical tasting butterscotch bits. So, if you want a goodie, it's on Milly Scraps, but here's the link for you - CLICK HERE! I also posted the chocolate version, on the left side of the page, but they aren't nearly as good as the butterscotch ones.

And, I'm continuing to work on the Thanksgiving Goodies page - gotta get that one rolling this week. It's a blustery, sunny day in Heavensville, the M&M's are by my side, hubby is going to work, I'm listening to smooth jazz and working on those pages.... Life is good...

Guess who's having a birthday....

No, no, look closely, that's not a gun, it's her BIGMA, the zoom lens on her camera, and she's not a rebel, she just looks like one in this pix, well actually she does like to think she's a rebel, and yes that's a playground toy she's on, some people get senile when they get old, ya know...

This is my life long, since we were toddlers buddy, Jean, aka Hooterville. She loves this picture, the old scoundrel, I think she's having some kind of late life crisis myself. She's 's getting up there in years now, she's SOOOOOOOOOOOO much older than me - she's actually 59 today! shhhhh, don't tell, she'll shoot me with her BIGMA!!!

OMG, I'm so old, i remember flour sacks, well... My Aunt Hazel always hemmed them and gave them to me for dishcloths - nothing works better...

IN THAT LONG AGO TIME WHEN THINGS WERE SAVED,
WHEN ROADS WERE GRAVELED AND BARRELS WERE STAVED,
WHEN WORN-OUT CLOTHING WAS USED AS RAGS,
AND THERE WERE NO PLASTIC WRAP OR BAGS,
AND THE WELL AND THE PUMP WERE WAY OUT BACK,
A VERSITILE ITEM, WAS THE FLOUR SACK.

PILLSBURY'S BEST, MOTHER'S AND GOLD MEDAL,TOO
STAMPED THEIR NAMES PROUDLY IN PURPLE AND BLUE
. THE STRING SEWN ON TOP WAS PULLED AND KEPT;
THE FLOUR EMPTIED AND SPILLS WERE SWEPT.
THE BAG WAS FOLDED AND STORED IN A SACK
THAT DURABLE, PRACTICAL FLOUR SACK.

THE SACK COULD BE FILLED WITH FEATHER AND DOWN,
FOR A PILLOW, OR T'WOULD MAKE A SLEEPING GOWN.
IT COULD CARRY A BOOK AND BE A SCHOOL BAG,
OR BECOME A MAIL SACK SLUNG OVER A NAG.
IT MADE A VERY CONVENIENT PACK,
THAT ADAPTABLE, COTTON FLOUR SACK.

BLEACHED AND SEWN, IT WAS DUTIFULLY WORN
AS BIBS, DIAPERS, OR KERCHIEF ADORNED
. IT WAS MADE INTO SKIRTS, BLOUSES AND SLIPS
AND MOM BRAIDED RUGS FROM ONE HUNDRED STRIPS
. SHE MADE RUFFLED CURTAINS FOR THE HOUSE OR SHACK,
FROM THAT HUMBLE BUT TREASURED FLOUR SACK!

AS A STRAINER FOR MILK OR APPLE JUICE,
TO WAVE MEN IN, IT WAS A VERY GOOD USE,
AS A SLING FOR A SPRAINED WRIST OR A BREAK,
TO HELP MOTHER ROLL UP A JELLY CAKE,
AS A WINDOW SHADE OR TO STUFF A CRACK,
WE USED A STURDY, COMMOM FLOUR SACK!

AS DISH TOWELS, EMBROIDERED OR NOT,
THEY COVERED UP DOUGH, HELPED PASS PANS SO HOT,
TIED UP DISHES FOR NEIGHBORS IN NEED,
AND FOR MEN OUT IN THE FIELD TO SEED.
THEY DRIED DISHES FROM PAN, NOT RACK
THAT ABSORBENT, HANDY FLOUR SACK!

WE POLISHED AND CLEANED STOVE AND TABLE,
SCOURED AND SCRUBBED FROM CELLAR TO GABLE,
WE DUSTED THE BUREAU AND OAK BED POST,
MADE COSTUMES FOR OCTOBER (A SCARY GHOST)
AND A PARACHUTE FOR A CAT NAMED JACK.
FROM THAT LOWLY, USEFUL OLD FLOUR SACK!

SO NOW MY FRIENDS, WHEN THEY ASK YOU
AS CURIOUS YOUNGSTERS OFTEN DO,
"BEFORE PLASTIC WRAP, ELMERS GLUE
AND PAPER TOWELS, WHAT DID YOU DO?"
TELL THEM LOUDLY AND WITH PRIDE DON'T LACK,
"GRANDMOTHER HAD THAT WONDERFUL FLOUR SACK!"