Whatever was I thinking??????

I’ve decided that my makeup has gone to hell.  It’s just wrong.  My base is too dark, nothing is staying on my face,  my base just fades away in a few hours, my eye makeup is not staying in place, either, my eyeliner is sliding down to my cheeks.  Drastic measures were called for.

Even though I haven’t used liquid eyeliner since my early 20’s, I decided to switch from the MAC Powdered one and give liquid a go again.  I talked with Nish, she has used it forever, it doesn’t slide down her cheeks, it sounded like a good idea.  But………

Silly me, hubby ran into the grocery store for me on our way to WallyWorld, oh yeah, I go to all the classy places, Target, WalMart, umhmmmm, you betcha…Anyway I was sitting in the car with my liquid eyeliner purchase from Tar-Jay, and I decided to give it a spin. 

What, was I crazy????  First of all I had no 7x magnifying mirror, only the pop-down one on my visor, but I’m never one to be deterred by the small things.  So I rip into the container, pull it out, unscrew the cap and swipe the liner under my eye, it goes across in this jagged line and then this huge glob of dark brown liner plops off the wand right under my eye.  OMG, I can’t have that, I have to go to WallyWorld after all, so I grab a napkin, spit on it, yuck, and try to wipe it off.  All it does was smear, now I have this big swipe of dark brown going across to my hairline and it’s drying fast, and underneath my eye looks like somebody socked me.

I’m desperate now, my face looks like something from the Rocky Horror Show, and I have nothing to get this stuff off with.  I know I need to get it off fast, LC will be back any minute, take a look at me and really think I’ve lost it.  The only thing I have in the car is hand sanitizer, which I have been slathering on constantly the past few weeks, so I take a big squirt of it, and put it under my eye.  Well, that stuff is alcohol based, and of course a little bit of it gets into my eye, so now I’m tearing up as well as stinging, and it still isn’t coming off.  I just keep rubbing, spot some hand lotion in the back seat, put that on, also, it seemed to help get it off, kinda.  But now I have this red, irritated eye to deal with, one eye has makeup, one has none, except for a dark shadow residue of eyeliner underneath my eye,  and I still have to go to WallyWorld.  Oh, wtf, lots of people in WalMart look as strange as I do, I just put on my sunglasses, even though it was cloudy, kept my head down, so hubby didn’t get a look at me, and walked right in.  Thankfully, I didn’t run into anybody I knew,  I got what I needed and hotfooted it outta there, fast.  I came home, tried using it again, this time with the 7x mirror, and now I remember why I quit using liquid eyeliner in the first place.  OMG, it’s really hard to get a good line!!!!  Maybe I bought the wrong kind!!!  I think I need to go to plan B.  But I don’t have a plan B. Maybe I need to watch some YouTube videos about applying liquid liner.

And even if I do master it, I still have to  deal with my makeup base not working.  I need something new.  Anybody have any ideas for me?  I’m getting desperate, here….  The only thing I’m sure of is that I will never, ever try any kind of new makeup product in the car, ever, ever again… I pinkie swear, I won’t!!!