Why didn’t I ask her more about her dreams? What did she enjoy about her childhood the most, who was her first love, what did she always want to do with her life when she was a young woman? Did she envision herself as a dancer twirling around the floor as she watched those programs? It’s those questions that I have regrets about. Why didn’t I ask? Mother was a private person, she didn’t talk much about her life, but why didn’t I probe her a bit, to find out her stories? Maybe it wasn’t as important to me as I was younger, and now that I want to know, it’s too late.
Mother’s Day is approaching, if you still have your mother, take the time to spend a day with her, walk in the sunshine, encourage her to talk about the secret dreams in her life. We all have them, and even if they aren’t important to you now, someday they will be, trust me.
I’m much more open than my mother, I talk about my past. My family knows that I always aspired to be a lawyer as a young girl, in later life, as ridiculously silly as it sounds, I would have loved being a P.I., probably from watching too much Perry Mason as a child. I always wanted to dance, not ballroom, but tap and jazz, I always wanted that horse I didn’t get.
I’ve always dreamed of living on the water, with a sailboat nearby to take for daily jaunts. I wanted the gifts of music and art, the natural talented that is rooted deep in your soul. I wanted siblings, and more contact with my cousins. But these things were not to be, and I’m grateful for what I do have in my life, a wonderful family, great friends, the country life, my sweet little dogs, but we all have secret dreams, maybe this post will make you remember some of yours.
~ jan
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