We've stayed at many airbnbs and VRBO's over the years and always have good experiences. But your luck is bound to run out sometime and of course this was the year that it did, and boy did it! Since pictures really are worth a thousand words, I'll share a few with you.
John was looking for a getaway and he found this rental near Chattanooga in the country that also came with a separate apartment. It had horses, cows, fancy chickens, guineas, cats, a creek, it sounded perfect. A country getaway without being around people. Deanna and I were all over this like a mayo on white, it just sounded idyllic. But as you can see, it didn't quite work out that way.
So we load two cars full of food and more stuff than we could use in a month of Sundays and off we go. We arrive, full of anticipation, up a long winding tree shaded lane and then... Oh my, it was nothing like the pictures. The yard hadn't been mowed in months, there was this pile of trash next to the fire pit, the landscaping was choked out with weeds, the flowers planted in the spring were all dying in their pots and the creek was a mess with fallen trees in it. To say we were shocked was an understatement, we had arrived at Weedy Acres.
So we unpack, trying to wrap our heads around what we had gotten ourselves into, but thankfully both the house and the apartment were clean and orderly, it was just the outside that was a disaster. The poor horses were so skinny their ribs were showing and the lone guinea was as big as a turkey. One of the cats was missing part of it's ear and they hissed and swatted at Maggie with their claws bared, so my dream of letting her run free was curtailed.
Poor Deanna had a run-in with a mean rooster. It flogged her, it
really flogged her. LC and I were sitting on the porch and we heard her screaming. She was trying to defend herself, batting at that rooster with a bag of carrots she had taken to feed the horses. It just wouldn't give it up, just kept coming at her! Lexi was hiding behind John, and of course he was doubled over laughing instead of helping her, thankfully this sweet rooster in the picture came to her rescue and chased the mean one away.
And I can't forget the gazebo, it was one of those things you can't describe, you just have to see it. This is it, where they string with lights and hold receptions. Note the barnwood table sitting on concrete blocks. Just the perfect ambience for any kind of reception,
NEVER! 
And let's not forget the view from our rickety deck, complete with dirty chairs and a vase of dead flowers on the table. Oh, it did overlook the weedy creek, such as it was. And I had so been looking forward to sitting by that creek, too, just living in the moment, enjoying the sound of rushing water. Well, the creek was dry, or maybe it was just clogged from all the weeds and fallen trees and the mosquitoes were fierce!
You can't make this stuff up, folks. Sometimes you just have to see it to believe it. The only thing we can figure is that all of the pictures had been taken a few years ago and this woman's husband must have passed away and she had nobody to help her. Her ad was full of excellent reviews, even from this summer, we just couldn't imagine anyone giving this mess a positive review. You're probably thinking that it was a cheap rental, heck no, it was pricey!
John walked on the porch, but it was so low that he bashed his head on the overhead beam and fell to the ground, he thinks he passed out for a minute. We loaded him up on Aleve and Tylenol, the lump on his head wasn't that bad and he insisted he was fine, but told Deanna that evening that he saw double vision all day.
He had rented a pontoon, and even though the weather was "iffy" with storms in the area, he thought they would go around us. We boarded with poor Maggie all wrapped in a beach towel since we had to smuggle her onboard. They didn't allow dogs on boats, but there was no way I would have left her behind at Weedy Acres. Mags was such a trooper, I didn't know if she would be scared since she had never been on a boat before, but she loved it and really enjoyed the breeze blowing her ears. Deanna was looking at the radar and shaking her head, but John started the boat and off we went on what Lexi and I later called "John's Excellent Adventure." It was a huge lake and we were the only boat in the water. That should have been a dead giveaway, but it was too late to turn back and the sky behind us just kept getting darker and darker. Deanna told him that he needed to try and find shelter that we were in trouble, but we were in the middle of the lake. He powered down, trying to make it to a Mexican restaurant on the shore, and I'm thinking that's not gonna work even if we get there, we have Maggie onboard. So anyway, the sky lets loose, and of course the canopy on the boat starts leaking like crazy, we're all huddled under beach towels, except for poor John who is steering the boat with water dripping off his nose. Lexi and I were laughing so hard our stomachs hurt at all of that water pouring down on us. There was lightening in the distance, it was a major ordeal, and of course we couldn't make it to that restaurant, but finally the skies cleared and it turned out to be a nice day.
One afternoon we loaded up and went for a drive. John took a shortcut, it was miles and miles and
MILES, up this windy, twisty untraveled mountain road. I'm talking look out the side window, scare yourself to death kind of road, that was so bumpy and rocky that I'm surprised we all didn't get car sick. And what was at the top of this mountain? A lake! Seriously, how could there be a lake on top of a mountain.
But I need to put a positive spin on this. We actually had a great time, we made lemonade out of lemons. I had taken my Instant Pot, I made a Sunday roast beef dinner, Lexi helped me stir up
Pioneer Woman's Texas Sheet Cake, which was wonderful, better than my recipe. I took mother's crock full of flour and made Facebook's
Cooking with Brenda Gantt's biscuits one morning. We sat on the porch in the evenings and played games with Lexi, it was actually very peaceful if you didn't look out in the yard at the weeds.
We had never been to
"SEE ROCK CITY" but of course had heard about it for years because of all the painted barns and billboards. It was such a nice surprise, it was just amazing. We all decided it was one of the best tourist attractions we had ever been to. They only let a certain amount of people in the park, you had to have a reservation to get in, people social distanced and wore masks, so you felt safe. It was so well maintained, very updated, there was a pavillon where we had lunch, fried green tomatoes and blackened catfish cakes, yum! The gardens were beautiful and you really could see seven states from the lookout. It was a beautiful day, the weather was so nice, the humidity was low, it was a great experience. We were supposed to stay another day but we decided to pack it in and go home instead of spending one more night in the weeds.
This vacation is one for the record books for sure, but in this year of Covid, I wouldn't expect anything less...
