I'm a mustard conisseur

Well, I am a conisseur, of yellow mustard.  Okay, all you mustard snobs, there is nothing wrong with yellow mustard, it's preferably to the fancy schmancy blends on a lot of things... If you're a long time reader, you will know that I'm a huge fan of Plochman's Mustard, and have been since I was a little girl eating mustard sandwiches with Daddy (two slices of white bread with mustard smeared in the middle, it was awesome).  It's just the best brand of mustard you can buy, and I have defended it many times to my girlfriends who insist that nasty French is the best yellow mustard on the market.  Blecht!

Well they're wrong, and now I have an ally.  Deanna!  Sweet girl loves mustard as much as I do and eats it on her french fries, too!  She's the only person I've ever known besides myself that enjoys it on fries instead of catsup, and she's a Plochman's fan, as well!  Last week when we were visiting her and John, she brought out the Plochman's, and wouldn't you know, after all these years they've managed to improve it.  The bottle, not the mustard, they would be fools to monkey with their recipe, even though Brooks Catsup has change their recipe and ruined their product, something that Hooterville and I lament about frequently.  We both adored Brooks Catsup, it was fiery hot and tangy, and now it's just wrong. 

But I'm getting off track.  I thought they would never change the Plochman's bottle but they have finally made a flip top on that familiar yellow barrel, doing away with that red cap that always got gunked up, causing your mustard to squirt sideways on your clothes.  I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me.

But it's not perfect, the hole is too large, causing you to squirt copious amounts of this wonderful yellow concoction onto your plate, saturating your food in *gasp* too much mustard.  Can there ever be too much mustard?  Of course there can.

So I fired them an email, telling them what a huge fan I was and how they need to make that hole smaller, but I'm sure some silly man in their quality control department probably dreamed up the idea of a larger hole, causing you to use more, thus buy more.  Yep, I'm just sure that's what happened, a woman would never do that.  Men Schmen!!!

Hmmmm, maybe I should email those Brooks Catsup people now, I'm on a roll here...