Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Lone Ranger Remake, There will NEVER be another Lone Ranger

the-lone-ranger

Year after year the movie industry churns out remakes of classic movies and yes, television shows.  They never work, they’re never good like the originals, but they continue to do it.  Is it because the baby boomers are dying off and they think the younger generation won’t remember how fabulous the originals were?

Well, I’m not dead yet, and it frosts my cake when they do this.  Now they’re remaking the The Lone Ranger.  I don’t care if it does star Johnny Depp, You just don’t mess around with The Lone Ranger!

Will I pay money to see it?  Oh hell no, I wouldn’t waste my time!  It’s desecration, people, DESECRATION and I am not happy about it either!!!

And yes, Linds, if you’re reading this, I did like the remake of Bewitched.  But it was for shallow reasons, I liked Nicole Kidman’s cottage.  The movie itself was lame.  But this isn’t the same thing, no siree, not the same thing at all!!!!!  At least Johnny Depp isn’t The Lone Ranger, he’s playing Tonto.  But do you know who’s playing The Lone Ranger?  Armie Hammer.  Armie Hammer??? Now what kind of name is that! He looks like he’s barely shaving in the promos.  And V, I know you are enamored of Mr. Depp, but we’ll take that conversation private.

Just look at this picture of Armie and Johnny.  I’m shaking my head and rolling my eyes!

armie

Now you tell me, do these two bozo’s look The Lone Ranger and Tonto???? Of course they don’t!  Johnny Depp is a paleface with white makeup for crying out loud, and what’s the wings on his head?  Tonto wouldn’t be caught dead with a bird on his head, Jeez people!

lone_ranger

But this, now this is the real deal, when men were men and injuns were injuns.  Surely this remake isn’t some kind of gay Lone Ranger!  Oh, puh-leez!

I’m all worked up here, this is just so wrong on so many levels!!!!!

Hi-Yo Silver, Awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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