My friend, Mary, told me before LC retired that it's like learning to dance when they're suddenly home all the time, you have to learn the steps. I've thought about this so often, it was good advice that Mary gave me. It's been almost three months now, and I can safely say that we've learned to jitterbug, but we're a long way from the waltz.
Several of my girlfriends are watching what's going on with us, as their husbands will be retiring soon, as well. But there really is no comparison, since all men are definitely not created equal. I'm one of the lucky ones, LC is self-sufficient, thinks nothing of not only throwing in a load of laundry, but drying it, folding it and putting it away, as well. He keeps my dishwasher emptied for me, he's cleaned closets and rearranged drawers, and you're all probably thinking, wow, she's really lucky, I wish my husband would do that.
Well..... I am extremely lucky that he does all of this for me, but you have to remember, that all of a sudden you're sharing your territory, 24/7 with someone who doesn't do things like you do. Not only does he do all of these things, he does them much better than I ever dreamed of doing. I'm a butterfly, I flit thru life, getting easily bored, hopping from one project to the next, skimming everything, and he is painstaking thorough and a perfectionist. So everything he does, shows my inadequacies. I had quite a problem with it at first, but I've come to realize that he does it to help me, he's not doing it because I don't do things well enough, and so I'm relaxing with all of it. And he's adjusting as well, he didn't say a word about me washing sheets at 7pm last night, when he would have much preferred me doing it at 7am yesterday morning.
We're developing a routine, often he makes breakfast, we each work side by side making our own lunch, simple lunches like soup and salads, then I make dinner. Cooking is the one area that he defers to me. He's always liked the way I cook, so other than manning the grill, he stays out of the way in the kitchen. With both of us working together, daily chores are finished quickly and the house has never looked better. He's enjoying having his own schedule, and says he's so busy he doesn't know how he had time to work. I enjoy the fact that we can visit the kids whenever we want, and now that he's not working weekends and can have date night again on Friday night. I'm a huge fan of date nights, Friday night is my favorite time of the week. He spends time in his den, I spend time in the sunroom, so we're not on top of each other, that has probably saved both our sanities.
And so we're dancing, finding our rhythm, enjoying the process. Life is good, this retirement thing might just be okay...
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